I am struggling today.
Asking myself 'Why?' a thousand times
Why?
Such a little word, but it's answers can change lives.
Why? Fast becoming little KP's favourite word, he has no idea that his mummy asks it a hundred times a day.
Why?
Do I wake with a dark feeling deep inside me.
Why?
Do I feel so sad inside, when I have so much to be thankful for.
Why?
Am I grumpy, weepy, cross.
Why?
Are you doing what you are?
Why?
Do I love you one minute and hate you the next?
Why do I dread you texting, hating your abuse, your desire - still - to control me, and yet missing your texts when they don't come.
Why are you still in the background of my mind every minute of every day?
I will never have the answers. You will never admit what really happened. You will never tell the truth.
I will have to let this go to move on, to heal. But I can't right now. Not yet.
Why?
Because I still have hope. Hope that you will. Hope that you will get help. Hope that somewhere deep inside the very core of you, you know that what you are doing is so very wrong.
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